New Jersey Herald - Newton,NJ,USA
Amanda Miller's joints ached at the knees and elbows.
Her breath was short. Her muscles weak.
At an inopportune time, the symptoms surfaced again.
It was the biggest game in Newton's young field hockey season, and the sophomore found herself in the worst place imaginable, on the bench, exhausted from the Lyme Disease that was attacking her body.
She couldn't last the full 60 minutes because the infection limited her stamina. So Miller watched helplessly from the sideline as her team allowed the game-winner with nine minutes remaining.
"It was horrible," Miller said of the September loss to Hackettstown. "All I could do was sit there and watch us lose.
"I couldn't do anything."
It was a low point in Miller's heroic season, but also an example of her dedication.
Miller calls field hockey, "the most important thing in my life right now." It's her ticket to a college scholarship, a passion that defines everything.
Those aspirations appeared in jeopardy when she was diagnosed in August with Lyme Disease, an infection generally spread through tick bites. Even when treated early, it can lead to "severe fatigue that is prolonged and very debilitating," according to the Center for Disease Control.
The symptoms, which also include muscle pain and arthritis, "are often intermittent, lasting from a few days to several months and sometimes years."
Faced with these possibilities, Miller broke down.
"I was devastated," she said. "I cried for two hours straight.
"I was scared I was never going to play again. I thought none of the colleges were going to look at me."
There were times during the season when Miller considered giving up. The disease compromised her speed and endurance to the point she felt like a liability to her own team.
Her timed mile in preseason was significantly slower than last year. She was humbled by circumstance, even dropped to junior varsity for one practice match.
Miller said her most discouraging moment came in her first scrimmage. With the score tied late, she could not get back on defense as an opponent scored the game-winner off a corner.
"I was so exhausted," she said. "I kept pushing but I was just out of energy.
"I thought it was my fault. I thought everybody improved and I was terrible. I thought I was so far behind that I was hurting the team."
That was around the time Miller saw a note left at home by her father. It was an inspirational message that asked her to "Show them who Amanda Miller is. Show them you're a fighter."
Miller heeded her father's advice, and battled Lyme Disease like it was a loose ball at midfield. Nothing was going to stop her field hockey dreams.
She showed up for every preseason practice and game, even on mornings when the sickness was overwhelming. She overcame setbacks and a slow start to become an integral part of Newton's high-powered offense.
"Sometimes my body was hurting so much, I couldn't get out of bed," she said. "All preseason it was horrible. I was in a bad mood all the time.
"Every morning I had to tell myself that I could do it. All I ever wanted to do was sleep."
Instead of sleeping, she's been scoring. Miller has five goals in her first year on varsity, playing side-by-side with the Sussex County Interscholastic League's all-time leading scorer, Heather Connelly.
"It's really cool playing with Heather," Miller said. "I've learned so much from her."
Miller's symptoms have subsided in recent weeks, and she is making up for lost training by running on weekends. Her prescribed course of antibiotics is almost complete and she is looking forward to being healthy by state playoffs.
And when Connelly graduates this year with well over 100 career goals, Newton will be looking for someone to fill the scoring void.
Miller could be that next superstar. Although she hasn't displayed the same finishing knack quite yet, her determination has shown she's capable of anything.
"I think the best word to describe Amanda would be perseverance," Newton coach Lisa Bechtel said. "Perseverance."